Betty Lou Elder, born April 21, 1932, passed away peacefully on November 7, 2025, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, at the age of 93.

Betty was preceded in death by her beloved husband, Donald James Elder Jr. She is lovingly remembered by her stepchildren, Eddie Elder (Lynne), Todd Elder (Jill), Eric Elder, and Donna Barkley (Phil); her ten grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren; and her cousin Emory Crain, along with his sons, Keith and Brian Crain.

Born and raised in Higginsville, Missouri, Betty graduated from Columbia College before moving to Tulsa in her early twenties, where she built a life rooted in grace, loyal friendships, and community involvement.

Betty had an elegant eye and a lifelong passion for interior design, antiquing, and needlepoint. She loved traveling in search of antiques and antique treasures, and she had a remarkable gift for creating spaces that felt both refined and welcoming. Her appreciation for beauty extended outdoors as well- she was an active member of the Tulsa Garden Club, the Antique Study Club, and a longtime supporter of Tulsa Town Hall. She also delighted in attending Broadway productions and cultural events throughout the community.

Animals, especially dogs, held a special place in her heart. Her gentle nature and steadfast kindness were evident in the way she cared for every living thing around her. Betty lived her life with poise and elegance, while also being a woman ahead of her time- independent, strong-willed, and confident, yet always graceful and composed. She was rarely seen without being impeccably dressed, a reflection of the pride she took in presenting herself with care and refinement. She was, in every sense, a proper lady: gracious, refined, and deeply loyal to those she loved. Her presence will be dearly missed and forever cherished.

Service Details

Services For : Betty Lou Elder

Funeral Service: Memorial Park Cemetery Chapel, Tulsa, Oklahoma

Time & Date of Service : 10:00 AM Wednesday, November 12th, 2025