Melissa Jo Ethridge-Jack Obituary

Melissa Jo Ethridge-Jack passed away from her earthly life on July 8th, 2025. Her body committed to mother earth and her soul committed to the Universe to find her next journey in the life process.

Melissa was born on June 29th, 1962 at Mercy Hospital in Tulsa, OK to Janet Kaye Cecil Ethridge and Joe Ben Ethridge. Melissa would live in Tulsa the majority of her life and moved to Bristow, OK to live for two years as a child.

Melissa attended the following schools:
Bell Elementary in Tulsa,OK
Edison Elementary in Bristow, OK
Hoover Elementary in Tulsa, OK
Whitney Junior High School in Tulsa, OK
Graduating Nathan Hale High in Tulsa, OK in 1980.

Melissa would attend Tulsa Community College at various times and graduated from Tulsa Technology Center completing the Medical Coding program.

Melissa grew up in the turbulent late 60's and 70's and was affected deeply by the culture of the times. Each night she would intently watch the effects of the Vietnam War play out on national news. Her political leanings were that of a pacifist which created great debates in the military household she grew up in. Melissa followed and became a member of the women's movement being heavily influenced by the lives and beliefs of RBG, Gloria Steinheim, Bella Abzug, Betty Friedan and many other feminists.

Melissa's maternal grandfather, Raymond Cecil, gave her the love of politics and service in her community. She became the president of the Whitney Junior High Red Cross and Nathan Hate High School Red Cross during her attendance Melissa was selected as the Youth of the Month by the Tulsa Chapter of the American Red Cross, she also received the Humanitarian Service Award several times during her tenure and she was also selected by the Tulsa Chapter of the American Red Cross as the area representative to the youth summit held in Hartford, CT.
Her Grandfather, Raymond Cecil, encouraged her to join Junior Achievement to learn about entrepreneurship and working as a team member.

Also, while at Whitney Junior High School, wit) recommendation letters from her English teacher, Mrs. Cora Tennant and her grandfather, Melissa was selected to serve as a page for the Oklahoma Senate in the Oklahoma City Capital under the guidance of Stephen C. Wolfe, District No. 39 in Tulsa.

Mrs. Cora Tennant gave Melissa her love of the written word and vocabulary. Mrs. Tennant worked with Melissa developing her love of the written word. This was when Melissa began her writing, Over the years and into adulthood, Melissa not only journaled, she wrote poetry, she made detailed observations and compiled written documentation on the Vietnam War, developmental psychology observing critical care newborns and seniors living in a nursing home environment. Melissa wrote many letters to the Tulsa World Editor where her letters were published in the newspaper. Later with the invention of Facebook, Melissa would post her writings as diary entries for her readers.

Melissa started taking piano lessons in the first grade. Melissa her tutorial piano studies with Mr. Lyle Thurman in the classics. Mr. Thurman prepared Melissa in classical training for application to Juilliard Of Music. Over years she would perform accompanying the vocal chorus or band throughout her educational career. Her junior high band instructor, Mr. Phillip Drummond noticed that Melissa was able to keep a very calculated time to the music. She was asked to conduct the band in concert as well as Mr. Dnrnmond placed her in the Timpani Percussion section of the band and was also teaching Melissa how to play the drums. She performed at weddings, in school talent shows and church functions.

Later in the early 90's, Melissa became certified as an HIV/AIDS educator with the Tulsa Chapter of the American Red Cross. As a Youth Services volunteer in the Safe Place program, she was able to take her HIV/AIDS educational program into the Youth Services shelter. While teaching at the Youth Services shelter, Melissa was the first to incorporate a decision making action plan course. Melissa also taught her HIV/AIDS course in the public school system and other organizational settings. Also, at this time, Melissa became a volunteer in the St Francis Hospice program. Melissa and two other volunteers were the only three that provided care to AIDS patients and their families because older volunteers did not want to serve this population out of fear of catching the AIDS virus. Melissa enjoyed her volunteer work with the Tulsa Chapter of the Names Project which showed select panels of the larger quilt. Melissa volunteered to work on the days that the public school system would bring the students for viewing of the panels and had some of the most experiences that only added joy and love to her life.

Melissa's career started in the health insurance field with her first employment position being held at Atlas Life Insurance in Tulsa, OK. Later in career she would become employed with Actuarial Associates, Golden Rule Insurance, St. Francis Hospital, 12 & 12 Inc., Oklahoma Centers for Therapy, Healthport, Leisure Village Nursing Home. Melissa started her career in the clerical/data entry then transferring into health insurance claims processing, a medical record auditor and finally in the last 14 years of her career she held the position of Medical Records Manager with a specialty in Release of information. Melissa's greatest career achievements were mentoring young professional women entering the field of Health Information Management and teaching staff about confidentiality and the art of medical record keeping. Melissa believed that company in-service education did not have to be boring and went the extra mile to provide fun ways to learn about health information. Melissa was well respected among staff, law enforcement agencies, clients and the community.

Melissa was an Agnostic Theist who questioned everything religious. She studied all religions, finding something from that she would work into her spiritual life. She was a staunch supporter of the Pro-Choice movement, a Democrat, a supporter of LGBTQ community and the 1st and 2nd amendments of the United States Constitution. Melissa did not believe in censorship of any kind. Her belief was if you did not like it do not read it, watch it, or turn the channel but do not take the decision away from her or others. Even though Melissa did not believe in war she did support the men and women who made a choice for their lives to serve our country.

The LGBTQ community was one that held a special place in her heart and her life. When she was young and could not accept herself and had no love for herself, it was this community that took her in and accepted and loved her unconditionally until she could do so for herself. She met and befriended many along her journey and never forgot them. It would upset and anger Melissa when society turned against those that she loved because society let religious doctrine dictate their beliefs and spew hate towards a community of individuals who only had love for themselves and others.

During the holiday season, Melissa and her husband Jim, had their friends and co-workers' children and later grandchildren submit a letter to Santa. Jim would purchase items from the child's list and Melissa would write a personalized letter to the child from Santa and Mrs. Claus. This act brought them great joy and sustained them throughout the year until the next holiday season.

Personally, Melissa overcame physical, emotional/mental abuse and verbal abuse at the hands of a family member. Melissa was date raped at the age of 17 and in her 20's was held against her by a man that is now serving a life sentence for abducting women.

Through the years, it was music and writing that helped Melissa express her emotions and brought her great comfort and pleasure. Due to the violent abuse in her home, she made a decision to leave home after graduating high school at the age of 17 never seeing her dream of applying to Julliard School of Music.

At the age of 24 Melissa entered substance abuse rehabilitation. It was sobriety that helped Melissa overcome many obstacles in her life. Through sobriety she met her knight in shining armor at the age of 37. Upon answering an ad through a telephone dating service, she met her soulmate, James Louis Jack. They were united in marriage on February 16, 2002 in the All Souls Unitarian Chapel and were married 23 years at the time of her death. Even though their marriage produced no children, James and Melissa had a love for animals. Their love of cats and dogs blessed their lives many times over and if they ever saw a stray they would rescue the animal and try to find its owner or keep the animal for themselves to raise. Preceding her in death is Chloe the beloved dog, and a long line of cats: George and Gracie, Buckwheat, Precious, and Miss B.

Melissa had a love for the arts. Melissa was a voracious reader reading anything from James Patterson, John Grisham, Patricia Comwell, Stephen King to memoirs, self help books, and historical events. She loved movies and television series as well as music from 1950's to the offerings of the day She had always wanted to be a performer playing the piano and singing.
Melissa had many collections. The items that brought her most joy were those of her Great Grandmother Ora Schilling and her Grandmother Evelyn Schilling Cecil, items of her mother's and from the estates of loved ones she admired growing up. Melissa had extensive collections of miniature tea sets, miniature sets of purses, shoes, and hats, Vaseline glass, Depression Glass, Fenton, Fostoria, China, and antique vanity sets. Her husband James always teased her about adding a room addition to their home just to house her collections.

Melissa's husband Jim had this to say about her, "You could say my wife's religion is that of a humanist. She had a tremendously loving and giving heart. She provided guidance to many young ones. When you received one of her hugs it was as if she was trying to give you all the love she had for you. She was the most honest, forgiving and loving woman that I have known. She truly walked her truth.

Melissa's friends remember her for her unconditional love and acceptance of them. They came to her because she heard them when they spoke and she listened to them. Melissa held their secrets in the strictest of confidence

Melissa is survived by: Beloved Husband, James L. Jack, and estranged sister Rebecca Ethridge. Melissa is survived by her Family of Choice : Abbey Cotter Cummins, Lisa Deeter Brown, Caitlin Staehle, and children Addy and Arlow, Micaela Staehle and children Lanie and Brantley, Debbie Staehle. Very Special Bonus Mom Karen Ann Elias Graham, Bonus Mom Sheila Sellers.

Melissa is preceded in death by: Her beloved mother, Janet Kaye Cecil Ethridge, father Joe B. Ethridge, Sister, Stacy Lynn Ethridge, Nephew, Christopher Hunter Ethridge, Paternal Grandparents, Fred Asbin and Lillian Faye Ethridge, Maternal Grandparents, Raymond and Evelyn Cecil, Maternal Great Grandparents, AE and Viola Cecil, Forrest and Ora Schilling, Bonus Dad Darrell Sellers and many loved friends, Her beloved cousin that was like her brother, Gregg Cecil and beloved friend known as her gay husband, Ray Chance.

Melissa's motto she lived by: "To Thine Own Self Be True" by WiIIiam Shakesphere and that she did. Jim supported Melissa in finding her voice and she had finally found her voice and she spoke up. She stand up not only for herself but for those that could not be heard, injustices she observed, and tried to right wrongs. Melissa was an honest, passionate, tender hearted individual. Melissa never wanted others to feel sorry for her and never viewed herself as a victim but a survivor. Melissa, who never wanted to be identified, served as the Bereavement Representative for the Nathan Hale Class of 1980 where she wrote obituaries for classmates that did not have one then they were posted to Nathan Hale's Facebook page.

Melissa faced numerous health challenges with unwavering optimism and a resilient spirit. She never allowed her conditions to dampen her zest for life. Her determined attitude served as an inspiration to all who knew her.

It is in death that Melissa's soul met her spirit and they merged to live as one to where she finally felt free. May her soul rest in utopian hippie peace.
Per Melissa's wish there will be no viewing. Melissa did request that donations could be made in her memory to the following organizations:

DVIS 3124 East Apache Street Tulsa OK 74110
The Humane Society of Tulsa
6232 East 60th Street
Tulsa, OK 74135
Tulsa Cares 3712 E 11th Street
Tulsa, OK 74112

Tulsa Mental Health Association
5330 East 31st Street Tulsa, OK 74135

12 & 12, Inc.
6333 East Skelly Drive
Tulsa. OK 74135

"A limb has fallen from the family tree. I keep hearing a voice that says, 'Grieve not for me. Remember the best times, the laughter, the song. The good life I lived while I was strong. Continue my heritage, I'm counting on you. Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through. My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest, Remembering all, how I truly was blessed. Continue traditions, no matter how small. Go on with your life, don't worry about falls. I miss you all dearly, so keep up your chin. Until the day comes that we're together again.'"